The broken roof
Between my fears
Questioning my existence...
I ask myself
Is there acceptance..?
To be found
But not broken
To be outspoken
But your eyes would not stand for it
The glares and snares deemed it forbidden
Since then I shut myself out and away in the distance
Locked inside my mind / Afraid of all humankind
I fell under the pressure / Damaged by society's pleasure
I let go of all possessions / I threw away my humiliation
Dub me another lonely soul
For I am no longer meant this world
I ripped your burdens away from my shoulders
Skin of stone
In my home
Completely exhausted eyes
Looking back again
I wouldn't last
Of this reality
Hardships are a token
There's so many scars
I'm proud to be broken
I'm a living shard
I live off of regret
Breathing in certainty
My life feeds on suspense
It's almost considered a dependency
People break down sometimes
That's an understatement
Pretending to walk the line
While hope is in fragments
Can you imagine-
Enduring another lifetime
Even a fraction-
Of the pain I called mine?
I reach for the sky / Sweat falls in the fire
Worshiped halos remain shy / Shall I wait here forever?
People say we are all loved
That's nothing but a lie
Belief and trust become lost
That's the only truth I will testify
The gates will stay closed-
Backs will be turned
I will pray no more-
Only to try and justify the hurt
Some things are just not meant to be
No expectations- means no let downs
My own words are the only ones I'll believe
I was once lost, and I was once never found
And when death finally comes for me
My hollowed soul won't be raised
It will learn that statues nev
Even when I'm at my weakest
I still lend you my strength
Even when my eyes are their darkest
I still look out for you the best way I can
I'm not the hero of the day
I just know what's right
I'm not some selfless saint
Someone has to bear the light
I don't expect any praise
All my deeds are of the same kind
I need not your thanks
No relief can fill this void in my life
No rest for the wicked / No love for the abandoned
No hope for the innocent / No pain for the departed
I'll give you my all / I'll rise while I fall
I'll answer your call / I'll serve until there's no pulse
I'm not looking for acknowledgment
Remember not my face
I don't consider labels an accomplishment
Forget to speak of my name
I will leave none a victim of relinquishment
You will not witness that pain
I'm merely here to cure the inhumane infections
For we are all one in the same
Even when all seems hopeless
I will come to turn the tides
Even when I'm left powerless
I will always be
Heart: The Destruction
I'm left dreamless
Every single night...
I remain sleepless
With bloodshot eyes...
You race through my mind
Images that I can't stand
And time after time
You're depleting my strength
A plague of mixed emotions
My tears act like quicksand
I'm torn in every direction
By these encrypted feelings I don't understand
I wish my heart would stay hidden
And so far away from you
To confess would be forbidden
And everyday I would barely get through
I've fallen so low / Into the darkness below
By the sorrow of my soul / It's consuming me whole
There is no escape
From whats bottled up inside
My desire for you won't ever fade
And it's something that I'm failing to hide
I continue to yearn for you so much
Even if you're right here beside me
But I can't let our friendship be crossed
So this dilemma will never let me be free
In the window...
In the ocean...
I see sorrow
I see confusion
I'll wake up tomorrow
And...forget my confessions
I regret every given sin
Replaying it all in my mind
Tattoos repent on my skin
They're serving a lifetime
Scars reveal past pain
And it's all mine
I see my eyes! / I fear my lies!
I scream inside! / I hide behind!
Tears won't fade! / Lost my faith!
I'm not okay! / It's too late!
I see through the cracks
Into my fallen reality
I put up a poor act
My transparent sanity
My soul finally snapped
Unleashed the real me
In the mirror...
In the destruction...
I see terror
I see justification
I'll wake up as an avenger
...Of my former reflection
Temptation destroys the very fabric of controlled rejection
And I yearn for a stupor salvation
This thirst is my disgraceful halation
And every shot sends me deeper into oblivion
My morals got caught up in warfare
Defining the worst side of my personality
These dark circles around my eyes lead nowhere
My irises are the source of frailty
Isolation is the only resort
The final stand against another taste
Just until my courage is immersed
And then another hit awaits
Bottom of a bottle / Bevel of a needle
A sacred betrayal / Spiraling into denial
My thoughts phase from numbness
Temporarily freed from reality
Resentment fuses with darkness
I begin to smile vacantly
Forcing a long-awaited blackout
This is what I've needed
When my eyelids crash down
The power of my pride is finally defeated
Dependency is fueled by weakness
Once broken- I become shapeless
I strip myself of all insecurities
So here's a toast
It's my world
These are my shoulders
It's my burden
These are my problems
It's my life
These are the tears I cry
It's my truth
These are my last moments with you
When you said those words
My vision got blurry
We couldn't be "us" anymore
It divides me
Double-edged love / I needed you so much
You're all I really got / Without you- I'm lost
When you walked away
I met the ground
I felt a ripping pain
A deafening sound
I won't get up again
This is my place now
This is me on my knees
Let me be weak
This is me breaking down
Let me cry out
This is me at my worst
Let me be hurt
This is me crushing my heart
Please...let me fall apart...in your arms
Living in my skin
It's like a severe drug addiction
It becomes lethal in the long run
It's a destruction that can't be undone
I am my own reaper
I am my own savior
A scythe is my cross
This blasphemy cannot be stopped
Only those with true despair
Can wield this type of fear
For those who are born in sorrow
Know how to deal with living so hollowed
I had to cast aside my weak point of view
Because there are no demons nor angels
I am my own villain
I am my own hero
Although my perceptions of light and dark
Mean nothing to my already tainted heart
I know reality is what it needs to be
I know there was no hope for someone like me
I can't justify fate with destiny
I can't prevent the ending to my story
Dying in my skin
Is like a long awaited revolution
It was worth all of the praying
It was worth all of the suffering
For I am my own martyr
For I am my own slayer
It's a different kind of panic
When last resorts are no longer a choice
Invisible infernos become an epidemic
Taking me far past the breaking point
It's beyond right or wrong
For someone to endure these moments
It's a cruel sensation to become undone
And to be left alone to face the on-coming carnage
Ashes burn / Hopes condemned
Ashes burn / Life's lament
Ashes fall / Reaping shame
Ashes fall / Forgiveness fades
Piece by piece- No cure for the cursed
Belief after belief- No relief for the impure
Tear by tear- No rain for the inflamed
Prayer after prayer- No shelter for the estranged
Ashes scatter / Memories freed
Ashes scatter / Serenity released
Ashes rest / Never mourn
Ashes rest / No return
It's neither an ending nor a beginning
When life and death trade names
It's just a cycle, never ending
The wheels of fate
Rain Of Thunder
Rain Of Thunder
I took the gift of light for granted-
Assuming I would always see
But when my world darkened-
My fears took the best of me
And I would give anything
Just to see a spark or a glow
But my faith was also fading
Withering away like my hope
The only sight I had
Was beyond the walls in my mind
But they were just figments from the past
A false savior that I could only hide behind
The shadows were becoming my mask
It was shielding me from living my life
The skies rumbled ominously / Like cries echoing sorrowfully
I felt rain falling endlessly / Like infinite liquid apologies
Reality shed the blackness / The roars fiercely pierced
My eyes ignited the darkness / The heavens suddenly burst
What once was lost
Can also be found
For effects without a cause
Nothing would ever be returned
Our paths will once again cross
For destiny is bound
The lowest of the low-
I have seen
Angel TearsImagine a raindrop is an angel's tear
Falling from heaven on Gaia's mortal fear
Weeping in unity their children's lost soul
Heaven's pure spirit evil now doth control
Eden of rapture consumed by time's flow
A lost utopia where gluttony doth grow.
Alluring serpent's lair humans covet the bait
Devourer of truth so poisoned with hate
Innocence now lost in maelstrom of desire
Purity long blackened by greed's hungry fire
The spirit debased evil darkens the heart
The nefarious abductor tears the soul apart
The moment approaches the farmer shall reap
Love now eternal for faithful lost sheep
Gnashing of teeth those left in despair
Time now elapsed for repentance and prayer
Renounce the darkness and take gentle heed
Embrace the truth be the Lamb's seed
Find The DreamSearch deep within your heart, deep into the darkness where faded dreams are kept. Don't give up; the one you are looking for is there somewhere. When you find it, hiding in a corner weeping at lost years, don't leave it there; it's scared and hates the darkness. Lift it gently into the light and watch it transform into a brighter wiser dream than it once was.
You see the darkness taught it the wisdom of why it fell to where all faded dreams go
My trembling hands-
Don't want to come together
I refuse to feel weakness-
Oppress the confessor
I will defy the defeat-
Of my body and mind
And my tears will freeze-
So I...will never cry
I was always told
That I have to be strong
But a child can never grow
When reminded that every decision is wrong
I didn't need to know
That strength was everything
Otherwise I would have given up a long time ago
Because that is my childish instinct
Take back every single breath / Take back those moments I lived
Take back those nightmares I dreamt / Take back those days I wept
I can only take so much / I can choose to give up
I'm not the one who's being the judge / I'm not the one who's being the fraud
I once believed
That resolve was protection
But all forms of relief abandoned me
I crumble upon the footholds of absolution
Sonnet VIOh precious love sworn to passionate pain
Care not for losing Love's seasonal grace,
For it is fitful Love's to love again
And Love shall later love another face,
And of faithful love, Love loves to speak,
A love which lasts till Love's closing day,
Yet, Love loves to imprint every spare cheek
With more love than what one Love can pay,
Unsettled, the scales of love do shake,
Though Love's love for compromise is known,
Still Love from tenure will in time break,
For only love, not Love, is a man's own.
And on every morrow, Love tells a tale
Of merry things upon love's vagrant trail.
Satisfaction is a ShadowSatisfaction is a shadow
So near and yet so far,
Which yearns for yet another moon
And feeds on every star.
The rich remain forever poor
And the poor; truly rich,
And heaven falls to sordid waste
Curing Man's endless itch.
More copious than the cosmos
Yet once a pinch of snuff,
Has humanity forgotten
Enough was once enough?
Aura: The Radiance
Aura: The Radiance
I wore this pain like a crown / I was so broken
I kept on falling down / I felt my soul shattering
I couldn't hear anything / listening to my own twisted thoughts
I was blinded from everything / witnessing my own tragic downfall
I stopped dreaming of better days / I ceased believing long ago
My countless nightmares wouldn't fade / I was left in this dark world alone
I guess this is how I really pictured my own end
I just want it to finally be over with, I won't resent death
To the end of this long, and lonely road
Dangling on my unfinished rope
Lift me up, lift me up, lift me up, and don't let me go!
Hold me high, hold me high, hold me high, and give me hope!
Revive the light
Inside the dark
Given a second life
Resurrecting my heart
Cascade of colors
Fade away the gray
Open up a new world
Where shame has no place
Standing up to society's face's
Takes every ounce of courage
Never damaged or discriminated against
Because we're all going throug
i miss you...I sit here in this rain,
Thinking of you.
But no matter how long I wait on this bench,
You will never meet me here.
I’ve got on my best dress, my cane,
Even that old bowler hat you always liked,
And I wait at the bench where we first met.
But you will never meet me here again.
I lean on my cane in front of me,
Thinking of you,
Never SurrenderIt's all unjust. It's all unfair,
Why does anyone give a care?
Whether life is cruel or kind,
I reserve the right to laugh than die,
But I'll never surrender to these tears I cry.
It's all untrue. It's all unbearable,
Why are these thoughts in me so horrible?
Whether death is clairvoyant or blind,
I deserve the dignity to question my time,
But I'll never surrender to these words I rhyme.
An Ode to The PhantomThere is a boat on a lake,
Burning candles on a cold black mirror.
And this journey I will take,
To find the man that I’ve been looking for.
I’ll find him I swear,
Chase him into the blackest night,
I’ll find his lonely lair.
And dry the tears from behind his mask.
What will lurk behind?
Some haunted face or tender spirit.
I shall say words truly kind,
And try to put his broken soul together.
Across the keys his fingers dance,
Enchanting beauty and bewitching senses.
I am lost within a trance,
And I know I’ll be forever his.
Away from judgement and from light,
We will spend the years together.
And I’ll live in this blackest night,
And stay with him forever more.
So Sick...I am so sick of feeling alone.
Time heals wounds, but mine have only grown.
The people around me are happy.
But I am still feeling crappy.
Some time has passed and I thought it would change.
But it has only gotten worse. Isn't that strange?
I try to stay tough.
But I know that's just a bluff.
Isn't it sad that I have to lie?
Not to anyone else but to myself.
What is really sad is that I don't care.
I treat myself like garbage, is that fair?
Its fine, it really does not matter.
My words, they are just meaningless chatter.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad everyone's lives are better.
I just wish that I did not have to sit here and see my palms getting wetter.
Haikus are Too ShortHaikus are too short,
To be at all worth clicking,
So I'll write some more.
These words are filler,
So I don't feel truly bad,
For writing briefly.
I write re Haikus
In a Haiku, how clever!
I'm showing off now.
Caffeine AddictI adore that addictive aromatic aroma,
Which wakes my senses in a senseless morning,
When my eyes are bound in an eternity of sleeping.
I drink it like the intoxicating ambrosia of angels,
And then I spend the rest of time in a caffeine coma.
I enjoy that enriching essential essence,
Which calms my anger in an anarchic day,
When my mind is lost in a mania of delay.
I thirst for it's poisonous nectar like some necrophiliac,
And then I dream the rest of time in a caffeine conscience.
I love that potently positive poison,
Which lights my mood in a mournful night,
When my soul is dead in a suffering of might.
I desire that drink as black as demon's blood,
And then I waste the rest of time in a caffeine cuisine.
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